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Sacrifice
by Kaija West

“You make the decision, Paul. The child dies by your hand so that all may live in peace. Or the innocent lives and the world continues as it always has, a wretched, painful, difficult existence,” the voice boomed out.

Paul gasped looking around and finding only darkness. No, not total darkness, there were shadows moving. They were barely visible but there was some kind of illumination here. Suddenly a young child appeared before him, lit by an unseen source. She couldn’t have been more then 5 years old and she stared at him, eyes wide with fear, clutching a stuffed rabbit to her chest.

“Well, Paul? Will you slaughter the innocent?” the voice questioned. Turning to his right Paul could make out the hazy outline of a person standing farther away than his voice suggested. It was loud, made his ears ring every time the person spoke, yet the sound seemed to come from far, far away.

“What?” he asked. He had no idea how he’d come to be here or what was going on but the words he was hearing were starting to click in his brain. “What are you asking me?”

“Kill the child and save everyone all that suffering, Paul,” the voice said. Its tone was reasonable yet the words suggested something he could barely even comprehend.

Looking into the frightened child’s face he said, “You can’t expect me to do this. You can’t expect me to make that kind of choice.”

“But it’s your place, Paul. It IS your choice. Now choose: one innocent to alleviate the suffering of all or allow the world to continue as it is. Can you really say she’s worth it? Just one child, Paul. Just this one,” the voice suggested.

When Paul hesitated to answer the voice continued, “You aren’t willing to save them all the sufferings of famine and disease and war? Can you really say it’s worth it?”

“I – I can’t. I can’t do this,” Paul replied, his voice cracking.

“CHOOSE!!!” it demanded.

He could feel its hot breath on his face but he couldn’t turn his head to look, couldn’t take his eyes off the terrified child in front of him.

“CHOOSE!!!” it yelled again.

Paul looked down at his hands. He could feel them tingle and even though he couldn’t see them well in the dark he could feel that they were slick with blood.

“No, you can’t make me make this choice. I can’t do that!”

“You don’t want this responsibility?” it asked, sounding smug.

“No, I just … I can’t handle it.” Paul said. He felt ashamed, like he’d let someone who had a lot of faith in him down.

“You want to be rid of this control?” it asked as though it was trying to be reasonable.
“Do you?” it asked after a moment.

“Yes,” Paul said softly, ducking his head from the sight of the child who still stared at him in fear. “I don’t want this control.”

“Fine. You have made your choice,” said the voice ominously.

There was a loud noise vaguely reminiscent of thunder, then it was all black and there was nothing.

**************************

“Paul. Wake up!”

Paul could make out the voice just barely. It took a moment to register in his brain that it was Alva calling him.

“I said WAKE UP!” he heard a second before feeling someone slap his cheek. Hard.

“Wa?” he sputtered. Looking at Alva, Paul could immediately tell that something was wrong. It looked like Alva and was dressed like him in a long black coat. Yet his expression wasn’t so much grim as it was down right sinister. “Keel, is something wrong?”

“Yes, Paul I’d say there is something wrong. Very wrong,” Alva said straightening up, towering over him.

Paul noticed something in his hand. It looked like a belt or something. Still puzzled and feeling half out of it Paul opened his mouth to sat something when he felt a strong yank around his neck. His brain still working slowly, it took Paul a moment to piece together that it was a black leather leash in Alva’s hand. And, more importantly, that leash was connected to him!

Paul scrambled to his knees, trying desperately to relieve some of the pressure from around his neck. He reached up and felt a collar around his neck. It had spikes on it that were sharp enough to nearly cut open his inquisitive fingers.

Still carefully feeling the collar for an opening he felt Alva yank again.

“Something is very wrong when my slave thinks he can sleep whenever he feels like it without permission. Something is wrong when my whore thinks he doesn’t have to obey my commands immediately. And something is definitely wrong when my bitch needs two reminders to kneel properly before me. Paul, what do you think this is going to cost you?” Alva asked, his voice never sounding anything but cool and detached.

“I … um … I,” Paul stammered. It was then that he noticed he was naked except for the collar and a set of wrist cuffs, complete with rings for purposes he didn’t want to contemplate.

“That’s right – you don’t know. It’s MY decision what happens to you, isn’t it? It’s MY choice to make.”

Leaning down over Paul, who was still kneeling and bewildered, Keel grabbed his chin roughly and forced the man to look him in the eye. “Should have known. Look at you, just itching for a little punishment aren’t you?”

Paul could swear he heard something in Alva’s voice now. He just wasn’t sure if it was lust or anger. Maybe both.

“I’m going to make you scream, Paul. That’s what you want isn’t it?” he asked, an evil smile twisting his hansom features.

“N-no,” Paul said. He could feel himself shaking.

“Ah, but you didn’t want to make choices, couldn’t handle the power. So it’s my decision, it’s MY choice, Paul. And you’ll never say no to me again.” Yanking the leash and grinning darkly Alva said, “Come now, Paul. I want to hear you scream.”

“Alva, no!” Paul said, panic starting to set it. He struggled back against the leash.

Keel backhanded him hard enough to send him reeling, landing hard on the floor. As his chin connected painfully with the ground Paul saw bright lights flashing behind his eyes.

*************************

“Paul, it’s alright, now,” Keel said pulling the young man upright and leaning his against the bottom of the couch.

Paul opening his eyes and yelped, then started struggling to get away from the hands that held him up, sitting on the floor, back to the couch. Finding that from his position he couldn’t get away from the hands Paul looked up at Alva who was crouching beside him. He felt himself trembling slightly and his heart racing so fast it felt like it was going to pound right out of his chest.

“Paul, stop!” Evie shouted.

Pulling his terrified gaze away from Alva, Paul looked to Evie with huge, scared eyes.

“You just had a nightmare. You threw yourself off the couch. Here,” she said handing him some tissues. “I think you bit your tongue when you hit the ground.”

“Thanks,” Paul said as he took the tissues and soaked up the small amount of blood in his mouth and on his lip.

“You’re alright now?” Alva asked, letting go of Paul’s upper arms.

When Paul turned to look at him he felt his heart start racing again and it was all he could do to keep from shaking.

Rising quickly he brushed past both of them. “I’m going to go grab some coffee from the place down the street. You guys want anything?” he asked while trying to hurry into his uncooperative coat.

“No, thanks,” Evie said, watching is shaking hands with worry.

“No, that’s alright. Paul, maybe you should just sit down for a moment,” Alva suggested. He didn’t like the way Paul had gone pale. He REALLY didn’t like the deer in the headlights look Paul gave him every time he looked his way.

“No … um, I mean, I just need to get out for a couple minutes. Be right back,” he said then all but bolted out the door.

After the door slammed shut Evie turned to Alva. “What the hell was that all about?”

“I don’t know,” Alva admitted.

“Half an hour ago he says he’s going to grab a nap and the next thing I know he’s mumbling then he’s taking a nose dive into the floor. Did you see the way he was shaking?”

“Yes. He did seem particularly disturbed,” Alva said.

“He looked … afraid of you or something,” Evie said, her face full of concern.

“I know.” Heading for his office Alva added, “I’ll talk to him when he gets back.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Evie said worriedly.

“He just needs a few minutes to calm down,” Alva said with more confidence than he felt. As he shut the door to his office behind him he added softly, “and so do I.”

While he was not at all pleased to see Paul’s reaction to him, Alva couldn’t seem to lose the hard-on the young man’s very vivid, unconscious dream ramblings had produced.

“We both just need a few minutes to calm down,” he said to himself.

End

~~~~~*~~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~

Fandom: Miracles
Pairings: Paul/Alva
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Paul has a very disturbing dream.

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Richard Hatem, David Greenwalt, ABC, etc. Not mine, no money made.
Feedback: Feed_back_fun AT yahoo.com
Beta: Innogen

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