"Damn it Cherise I done told you on the phone. No." Deaq was not pleased with his sister when she arrived, baby daughter in tow, after he told her he couldn't help today.

"Deaky, common. I got no one else," Cherise pleaded with her brother. She was sure he would give in, he always did when she really needed his help. She knew her big brother was a softy when it came to his little sisters, even if he did act like a hard ass, the way he was right now.

"Go ask Mom," Deaq said, arms crossed. He was standing in the doorway of his home effectively blocking the way in.

"I would but she and Daddy are out of town for the Franklin's daughter's wedding. You'd know that if you called more often."

Deaq was still getting used to being more in contact with his family. He just wasn't accustomed to having to check in with them all the time. "Fine. Well, call someone else ‘cause I'm not gonna do it." Even as he said it Deaq knew full well he was indeed going to do it.

"Everybody is busy or out. You're the last person who can watch her. Come on, help your sister out," she said knowing full well he had already decided to.

"Fine, bring her inside," Deaq said. He didn't know if he should be thankful or pissed that he was her last choice. What he did know was that watching his niece was going to put a serious crimp on his plans for today, his day off. Correction, his AND Van's day off.

Deaq moved inside to allow Cherise and baby Maria to come in. Cherise knew she had to give Deaq instructions, and fast, if she was going to be on time. She was also going to have to leave in a hurry before he started asking questions about where she was headed today.

"Play pen's in the car. So is the diaper bag and her high chair," Cherise said knowing Deaq would probably grumble about going to get the equipment but would do it anyway.

Deaq ducked past Cherise to retrieve the stuff from her car. Upon returning he had to remark, "Cher, why is it this baby needs more equipment than a space shuttle?"

Cherise ignored his question and handed Maria over to him. Despite his earlier protests he took her gently in his arms, not waking her through the transition. Deaq had helped plenty in raising his little sisters and it was obvious from the way he held the child that he was experienced and confident with a baby.

"I fed her ‘bout a half hour ago so she should be fine until mid afternoon. Formula is mixed and in the bag, nuke it for 15 seconds. I'll try to be back to pick her up by 2 but no promises," Cherise said quickly. She began to make her way towards the front door, hoping for a clean getaway. No such luck.

"Where you going that you can't tell me when you're getting back?"

Cherise knew that ‘interrogating a suspect' tone of voice all too well. In the Hayes family you were the recipient of that tone very often and if it wasn't from Dad then it came from one of her brothers. Cherise remembered there was only one brother who would give her that tone now. She still missed Andre very much as they had been close. Sometimes she almost forgot that he was gone.

Deciding to just admit the truth to save time she answered Deaq, "Traffic court, okay? I got caught speeding-"

"Again," Deaq finished for her, sounding distinctly unimpressed. "Girl, when you gonna slow down? Tell me Maria wasn't in the car when they stopped you." Deaq felt the warm bundle in his arms squirm a little and he was trying hard to not think of little Maria being in a car crash.

The very first night he had gone out on patrol just after getting out of the academy he had been the first on the scene of a horrific car crash. A drunk driver in a large commercial van had run a red light and slammed into a small car with a family inside. He had been the one to pull the baby's lifeless body from the wreckage, trying to safe the infant. None of the family survived but the drunk, in his larger vehicle, had only had minor injuries. Deaq still remembered the crash investigation findings: if the driver of the small car hadn't been speeding he may have been able to avoid the collision. The baby had died upon impact and there had been nothing Deaq could do but he never forgot the feeling of that tiny body in his arms, still warm but obviously dead.

"Of course she wasn't in the car," Cherise said, somewhat insulted. Andre would never have said something like that to her. "I was just coming home from work and I was going just a little over the limit. I was keeping pace with traffic," she justified though she knew that wasn't exactly true.

Deaq was less than convinced. "How fast were you going."

Cherise mumbled an answer.

"What was that? I don't think I heard you," Deaq replied, sounding irritated.

"I said I was going 40 over, okay?"

"Forty?!? What the hell kinda hurry you think you were in?" Deaq's voice was loud enough now that baby Maria was stirring.

"Yeah, forty. Lookit, if I don't get over there in time I won't have a licence, which means I won't have a way to work. I gotta go."

"Fine. You go right now cause there is NO WAY you are speeding over there."

Cherise suspected Deaq wasn't finished lecturing her but at least now she could get going.

"Thanks Deaky," she said softly.

"You call me if they suspend your licence, I come pick you up," Deaq said as he lead her out the door.

***************

Van woke up late that morning. He and Deaq had been working until well after 4 am. the night before and he was determined to get a few good hours of sleep before went over to Deaq's place. He needed to have a clear head for what he thought Deaq was going to ask him today.

Van had been spending so much time at Deaq's place they were both beginning to question why they didn't just move in together. Half of Van's stuff had already migrated over there and it was more than big enough for the two of them. Not that they needed that much space anyway since they would likely be all over each other a great deal of the time, if the frequent nights Van spent there were any indication.

Van had noticed that Deaq had long since stopped complaining about all the stuff he left at his place. He had even cleared out some drawers for Van's stuff. Unless he was not as good a judge of Deaq's behaviour that he thought he was, Deaq was planning to ask him to move in today. Van knew how he'd answer without a second thought. However he wanted to make sure he didn't say or do something to make Deaq regret it right away, hence the sleeping in.

‘6 hours. Not bad at all,' thought Van. That was actually a rather long sleep for him, but he wanted to be well rested. ‘Today, my man, your life is going to change.'

Deaq was really going to accept him. Letting Van stay the night was one thing, but allowing him to move was something else entirely. To Van it was that last step to showing that there relationship was permanent, or at least as permanent as they could manage.

*************

Van pulled into Deaq's driveway just after noon. He nearly skipped up to the door, he could barely contain his enthusiasm. Whipping out his key he opened the door.

"Who's my girl? Whose my baby girl? Whose the beautiful baby?" Van heard Deaq's sing-song voice coming out of the bedroom. It made his heart skip a beat. Deaq had a girl in their bedroom? No, it was still DEAQ'S bedroom, not THEIR bedroom yet. If he had a lady in there that was a pretty clear sign that it was never going to be THEIR bedroom.

"Oh God," Van said quietly, completely crushed. He wanted to go home as fast as he could and hide under the covers until this all went away, hopefully by sometime next year. Although that's what he wanted to do Van found himself walking towards the room. The door was ajar. He could make out Deaq's back where he sat on the bed. Van watched as his hand, seemingly of it's own volition, moved to push the door open.

Deaq turned around on the bed when he heard his door open. "Van, come meet my niece, Maria. She's going to intrude today but she's so pretty and such a good girl. Yes she is!" By the end Deaq was back to talking to Maria. It didn't occur to him until later that he was using baby talk in front of another man. Well, it was Van and he did trust him not to hold it against him.

Deaq looked back to where Van was leaning on the door jam nearly gasping and looking like he was about to take a nose dive into the carpet. "What's the matter, Van? Come over here and sit down, you don't look too good."

Van, still pale and wide eyed, made his way over to the bed and carefully sat down beside Deaq. "I uh ... I thought you had a ... had a ..."

Deaq reached over and pulled Van into a kiss, keeping it light because Van looked like he could still use all the air he could get. Deaq then pulled Van into an embrace and held him there for several moments. When he felt Van start to relax he let go.

"Now, what is it? What got you so upset?" Deaq asked glancing over at Maria to make sure she was still fine. She had fallen asleep again.

Van took a deep steadying breath and let it out slowly before answering. "I thought you had a girl in here."

Slowly and deliberately as if addressing someone who was either retarded or stoned, Deaq replied, "Yes, Van, this is Maria. She's my niece." Noticing the still shocked look on Van's face he decided to lighten things a bit, "don't worry she doesn't bite."

"No I thought you had a GIRL in here. You know a LADY. I heard you talking and I thought..."

Deaq grabbed Van and pulled him into another hug. ‘No wonder he looked so upset,' thought Deaq. "Van you know you the only LADY in my life," Deaq said teasing, knowing Van hated it when Deaq called him that. Maybe if he could get him to laugh Van would feel better. He had to get Van back to his happy self right away. Deaq couldn't stand seeing him so distraught."I'm just kiddin' I know you no lady. Sides you really think that's how I'd talk to a woman?"

Van started to realize that if Deaq had really been talking to a woman it would have been a pretty silly tone to use, even in the bedroom. "Well ... you don't get much practice any more ..."

"Believe me when Deaqon Hayes used to go chatting up the ladies baby talk voices were not one of the tricks used," Deaq said boasting. "Not that I really care if the ol' Deaq charm works anymore on the ladies, I already have what I want." He looked Van in the eyes and took his hand. Turning serious he began, "I've been wanting to ask you something. Just been waiting for the right time."

Van couldn't believe it, Deaq was still going to ask him to move in, even after he as much as accused him of cheating.

"I want you to-"

RING! RING!

‘Ignore it, please just ignore it,' thought Van. No such luck.

"Hold that thought," Deaq said and reached for the phone. He was actually grateful for it's interruption. As much as he wanted Van to move in with him it was proving harder to ask than he had thought it would be.

"Hello?" he said into the receiver. In response he got an earful from his obviously very upset sister. "Slow down Cher. Tell me what happened."

Van stayed seated on the bed waiting as Deaq took the cordless with him into the other room. He quickly realized Deaq did that so as not to wake the sleeping baby, not because he didn't want Van to hear. Van watched the little girl stretch and yawn, eyes still closed. In moments the baby was again asleep and Van envied her ability to rest so easily.

Deaq returned to the bedroom and replaced the cordless. "My sister Cherise, Maria's mother, is in traffic court today."

"Let me guess: speeding," Van had met Cherise before a couple times when he and Andre had been partners and remembered the stories about her lead foot.

"How did you-"

"We've met. Before, back when Andre and I..."

"Oh, right. Yeah, speeding, only this time she was doin' 40 over."

Van whistled knowing at that high a speed the judge could take away a person's licence.

Deaq continued, "You'll never guess who the judge is." Van waited for the answer. "Gallows."

"No way. She's doing traffic court?" Van was surprised to hear that. He knew the importance of it too. Judge Gallows was known for throwing the book at people. Cherise could as much as kiss her licence good bye.

"She is today. Fillin' in I guess."

"You gonna go down there?"

"Yeah I gotta. Van, I hate to ask but could you watch Maria?"

Van wanted to help Deaq of course but this just wasn't his area. "Deaq I would but I have no idea of how to take care of a baby. I'd probably screw up. You don't want to leave me with that responsibility."

Deaq knew Van had to have at least some idea of how to take care of a baby. They taught you a few basic things at the academy because inevitably every officer would end up at a domestic disturbance where they would have to, at the very least, hold a baby until social services arrived or the parent calmed down enough to take care of their own child. Besides, Maria was 6 months old so she wasn't as fragile as Van probably was thinking.

Getting up Deaq told Van, "I'll only be gone a little while, you'll do fine." He left quickly before Van could offer any protest. By the time Van got his brain in gear enough to tell himself to get moving Deaq was already out the door.

Van returned to the bedroom where little Maria was now waking. ‘Great, now what the hell do I do?' he thought.

********************

Van warily approached the bed, watching the waking baby as suspiciously as if she were an armed coke dealer.

"This is ridiculous, Van," he began talking aloud to himself. "Relax, you can handle this."

Van stopped at the edge of the bed looking down at baby Maria. She returned his gaze, looking confused by this strange man who obviously didn't have the sense to pick her up after a nap like her mother did.

"Common, Van. Deaq said she doesn't bite," joking with himself. He slowly reached over and patted her on the top of the head in the stiff, awkward, way one might pat a dog they would rather not touch. "There. Good. You're not so bad are you?" he asked the baby.

Maria was now getting upset. She wanted to be picked up and cuddled and this strange man was starting to make her nervous. She began to start turning red in the face, revving up to cry. Van noticed the change in colour and assumed Maria must be choking.

Van hollered, "Oh my God! Don't choke! Don't choke!"

He was scrambling to remember how to give the Heimlich maneuver to a baby of this size. Was it laying them down or holding them up? When a loud screeching wail came from Maria Van realized there was nothing stuck in her throat. For about half a second he almost wished there was - the sound was so horrible.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked himself. "When exactly did you turn into an idiot?"

Van thought that maybe Maria was bored, that always made him cranky. There was a lot more stuff to look at in the living room. The only problem was he would have to move her there. Reaching for the sobbing baby, Van lifted her securely under both her arms. He carried her, arms out stretched from his body out of the bedroom and down the hall way. Maria was now crying even harder at this strange man's actions. She wasn't used to being held at arms length like a bag of stinky garbage. She didn't like to feel her legs dangling under her.

Van looked for a place to set her down. ‘Coffee table - nah, she might fall off. Sofa - nope, could fall off of that too.' He finally decided on placing her in the middle of the floor where there was nothing around for her to get hurt by.

"There," he said triumphantly, though the baby was still crying. "Perfect." At least he had found a place to put her. "Okay, so you know pretty much nothing about babies," Van started thinking aloud. "Well, what do you know? You know how to keep them safe. See you put her where she can't fall off anything and there's nothing for her to grab. She's safe. So, why isn't she happy?"

Van put his hands in the back pockets of his jeans and felt the hard barrel of his gun in it's holster. Actually when he wore that holster, the one that clipped to the back of his pants, he could always feel the gun's handle poking into the small of his back. Normally he barely noticed it and if he did it was a comforting feeling. Right now though it wasn't comforting at all.

"Real smart, Van. Bring a loaded weapon around a kid."

Three years ago Van had managed to piss off his superior so much that the Captain had decided Van needed to learn his lesson once and for all. Van and Andre had arrived at work and the Captain had told Van he was needed for a "special assignment." Of course Van had been all cocky about it and that had just helped to seal his fate. The "special assignment" had turned out to be teaching firearm safety to grade school kids for police week. They had made him wear a uniform and go around to a bunch of schools and give the kids speeches about how they should never play with guns. At the end of the week Van learned three things. First, he learned that he should never make the Captain that angry with him again. Second, he discovered that Andre knew this was going to happen and hadn't given him the heads up. When he angrily questioned his partner Andre had laughed and told him he deserved it. He had told Van that seeing his face when he found out the nature of the "special assignment" had been the funniest thing he had ever seen. The third thing that Van learned in that week from hell was that you never keep guns within kids reach. Period.

Van and Deaq always left their guns lying around the house when they were home. There wasn't anybody to mess with them so they didn't have to worry - until now that was.
‘Shit! Where am I going to put this thing where she can't get it?'

******************

Having hidden his gun where Maria couldn't get hold of it Van realized he still had the problem of getting her to stop crying. He figured maybe she could watch t.v. Van walked past the crying infant and grabbed the remote. He figured he could find some kind of kid's show and she could just watch that. Then she would stop crying and he wouldn't have to think of what to do with her.

"Just find a little Barney and we're all set. I'll bet you watch that for hours at home right?" he asked Maria. They always say kids watch too much t.v. so surely she could sit and watch a few hours now, right?

Van clicked on the t.v.: "That's it, shove my cock down your throat! I'm gonna screw that ass so hard..."

"Ahhh!" Van screamed as he launched himself towards Maria in an attempt to block her view of the screen. Hard core gay porn was not what he expected to find when he switched on the t.v. Considering the size of the massive screen Van couldn't block the baby's view as he tried to use himself as some kind of a human shield. Van tried to cover her eyes with one hand while searching for the remote he had dropped. Several agonizing moments later he managed to find the remote and switch off the set.

After taking a few deep breaths Van moved his hand away from Maria's eyes. She had stopped crying and looked very surprised and confused.

"You'll probably need years of therapy now. I'm so sorry," Van said, totally sincere. ‘Great, I've probably scared her for life,' he thought.

Maria just kept staring at him, waiting for him to pick her up. When Van didn't she began to cry again. It was the only way she knew how to tell him she wanted to be held.

"Oh, man. Now what do I do?" The t.v. was out, ‘God only knows what else I'd find on there,' he thought. "Maybe a little music. I bet you'd like that."

Van went over to the stereo and flipped it on without thinking to check the volume level. He used the stereo more than Deaq did so it was little wonder that it was turned to a near ear splitting level. "Yo! Where my bitches at?" A rap song came pounding out of the speakers, so loud it totally drowned out the cries of Maria.

"Ahhhh! Not again!" Van yelped, barely able to hear himself over the song. There was no way this music was meant for little baby girls. In his attempt to shut the music off he hit the wrong button and the song grew even louder, "Boom. Boom Gonna slam dem bitches in da motherfuckin' ground!"

Several tries later Van found the correct button. He'd never forgot which one to push before but now that he was accidentally traumatizing a baby it seemed so much harder to find the right one.
Van turned back to where Maria was still sitting on the floor. She looked even more confused and scarred.

"I'm SO sorry. I just thought-"

Maria began to wail again, even more loudly than before.

"That's it. I'm calling Billie," Van decided, grabbing the nearest phone. He continued to watch the screaming baby.

***************

"Well what do you think I can do about it?" Billie was pissed. She was busy researching two gun smugglers operating in the valley. Getting interrupted when she was working made her pissed off. Talking to Van usually pissed her off too. Not knowing what to do pissed her off the most. Figuring out what a baby needed over the phone was not an easy thing. "Why on earth do you think I know what to do about it?"

"You're a chick. Sort of. Don't you just know these things? Like instinct or something?" Van said hopefully. He had expected her to just tell him what to do, maybe chew him out for bugging her, but help him out anyway.

Billie sighed loudly into the phone, unsure what part to correct first. "Did you try to feed her?"

"No."

"Well try that," Billie said hoping Van would let her go.

"I don't know Billie, she looks kinda small. I don't know what she eats. I think there's some Lucky Charms in the cupboard somewhere..." Van knew Maria probably didn't eat adult food yet but figured if he played just a little more clueless than he really was Billie might help him more. Yeah, he was manipulating her but that's why she hired him, because he was so good at it.

"For crying out loud Van! I'm surprised you didn't suggest feeding her steak!" Billie wondered how Van could be this clueless about some things and yet be so good at his job. She decided this must be his stupid streak coming out.

"Yeah, I think we have some steak here but she doesn't have any teeth, Billie." Van double checked, seeing Maria's mouth wide open as she cried. He knew they were joking about the steak but he wasn't really sure about the teeth.

Taking another deep breath to keep herself from blowing up at the incompetent man, she continued, "Go see if they brought a bag, there's probably stuff in there for her."

Van looked around the room and saw a big pastel, multi coloured bag by the front door. "Yeah there is." He noticed another contraption beside it. It looked kind of like a tent when you first pull them out of the bag - poles and fabric all wound together. Van didn't have a clue what it was. He opened the bag and found a bottle, already filled with a note attached that said, "Put in microwave for 15 seconds."

"Cool."

"What?" Billie asked.

"No, it's already done and it says to stick it in the microwave for 15 seconds."

****************

Ten minutes, and many attempts later, it was obvious that Maria didn't want her bottle. She was still crying.

"How long can they keep this up?" Van asked Billie, exasperation obvious in his tone.

"About 18 months," Billie said matter of factly. It was clear that Van wasn't going to let her go until the baby stopped crying. She could hang up on him but he'd probably just keep calling back. "Why can't you call Deaq again?"

"Cause he shut his phone off. He's in court," Van was sure he told her this already but had rushed through his explanation hoping to get Billie to stop the baby from crying quickly. He knew he mentioned that Deaq's phone was off but maybe he hadn't told her why before.

"And why is he in court?"

"His sister got a speeding ticket and their gonna take her licence and Billie, she won't stop crying!" Van was watching Maria, who was still sitting on the floor away from everything. Van was standing behind the sofa, putting a shield between himself and the problem without realizing it.

"Yeah, Van I can hear that." Billie could hear the screeching infant loud and clear. She had put them on speaker phone a few minutes ago and the cries echoed throughout the Candy Store. Billie looked longingly at the files she had been reading through before Van interrupted her.

Out of ideas, Van looked around the room when he realized he'd forgotten about the weird contraption over by the door. "Hey Billie, there's this thing here. I'm not really sure what it is but it must be Maria's," he said looking at the pink mass of mesh, fabric and poles.

"Thing. That's the best you can describe it. Have you ever had to give testimony in court?"

"Of course I have," Van said defensively.

"Well then I'm sure you can give me a better description than that."

"It's poles and mesh and fabric and stuff. Looks kinda like a tent before you set it up."

"You know what a tent looks like?" Billie was truly surprised, Van didn't exactly strike her as the camping type.

"Yeah, I do. So what is it?"

"It sounds like a play pen to me."

"A baby cage? Cool!"

Billie found herself shaking her head at his choice of term. "Well set it up. Maybe if you put her in it she'll be more happy and stop crying."

************

Fifteen minutes later it was obvious that the play pen wasn't going up. In fact without the use of scissors it would probably never be untangled again.

"Van, how is it that not two days ago you took apart half the engine of a Porsche and fixed the problem but today you can't put up a baby's play pen?"

"You know what, Billie?" Van was now really pissed off. All the crying was starting to grate on his nerves. "I don't know! I can't get this damn thing together. You'd think they would have left me instructions or something."

"You'd have actually read them?"

"Yes! I'm not stupid. How do you think I knew how to fix that Porsche engine? You can't just guess your way through these things you know. God what an idiot I am. I can't even stop her from crying."

Billie could hear that Van was now really upset which was probably just making the baby more upset too. "Van, listen. I'm guessing you've never taken care of a baby before," she didn't leave him time to answer. "How can you expect to know the right thing to do? The first time you took apart an engine did you get it back together right away?"

"No. That's when I started reading the manuals. Know how to do it from memory now."

"So, basically, you can fix car engines because you have experience and know how from reading, right? You get where I'm going with this?"

"I get it. You're saying it's okay that I don't know what to do with Maria, right?"

"Yes, that's what I'm saying."

They were both quiet for a few moments, neither wanting to say a thing. They both just sort of let it sink in. Maria, however, was making up for their silence with her constant crying.

Van had an idea before but he wasn't sure Billie would agree to it. Actually, he had been afraid that if he asked she might drive over there and shoot him for even suggesting it.

"Billie? Do you think maybe if Maria had someone sing to her she might stop crying?"

"You didn't even try singing to her before you called me? What kind of an idiot are you?"

"But you just said ... I ... with the engines ... and the ..." Van was amazed how quickly they had returned to their usual pattern. He sighed and thought, ‘back to normal.' "Well, I would've but I have a really lousy singing voice."

"I want this clear for the record: You're implying that you think I should sing for the baby aren't you?" Billie said, over emphasizing the ‘I' in the sentence.

"Yup."

"Okay, now I'm sure the crying has finally driven you over the edge."

"Common Billie, please. We've got to do something," Van knew he would have to do something drastic, and fast, or Billie wouldn't agree to do it. "Listen to how sad she is." He put the phone right up to Maria's mouth and she screamed and sobbed into the receiver.

On the other end of the line Billie, who had heard the crying all along, now found it so loud that she had to take the phone off speaker. The echos of baby cries were too loud in the huge, open building. ‘This is just low,' she thought. ‘But then leave it to Van. He must know every trick in the book for getting people to do what he needs them to.'

"You hear that Billie? I wouldn't ask if it wasn't an emergency," Van said having put the phone back to his ear after about thirty seconds of baby cries. "Can you help me out here?"

"You'll let me get back to my work after this?"

"Yes. Absolutely."

"You swear that you aren't recording this for some gag?"

"No, I'm not. What, you don't trust me?"

"Swear it," Billie said not taking any chances. She had to be careful with Van and Deaq, you could never be sure they weren't planning to surprise you with a joke.

"I swear on my relationship with Deaq I'm not recording this." Having said it Van almost wished he had thought of doing that. ‘Gonna have to remember that one,' he thought ‘Might be handy to have a recording of your boss singing.'

Satisfied with his response she said, "Okay, is she ready?"

"No. No, wait."

Billie could hear Van moving around and then some clicking.

"Okay," his voice sounded just a little farther away. "I put you on speaker. Let's hear it Celine Dion," he said, risking a little teasing.

There was silence on the line.

"Uh, Billie? Show time. Come on, the audience is waiting," he said watching Maria as she cried.

"What should I sing?" Billie finally asked.

"I don't know. Whatever's in your head I guess."

"Ooookay," there was a short pause. She began singing, her voice in the alto range, "My friend's got a boyfriend and she hates that dick, she tells me ev-er-y day. Oh, he wants more denaros just to stay at home, oh my friend you've got to - ooh say. Say no way, Say no way-eh, no way-eh-eh- eh. Nah, nah, why don't you get a job?" Her voice was actually quite good despite how deep it tended to sound when she spoke. Van sat down with Maria on the carpet, listening to Billie.

"Billie," he said when she paused. "That sounded really good but don't you think we should wait a few years before we make her into a man hater?" He was half joking. "Do you know any kids songs?"

"Picky, picky. Okay, how about this?" Billie began to sing again, "If you go down to the woods today you're sure of a big surprise. If you go down to the woods today you'd better go in disguise. For every bear that ever there was will gather there for certain, because today's the day the Teddy Bears have their picnic..."

As Billie continued to sing Van scooped up Maria and set her in his lap without even realizing what he was doing. She cuddled right into his arms and her crying began to subside. Van was rocking side to side with Billie's singing, totally unaware he was doing it.

"...six o'clock their Mummies and Daddies will take them home to bed because they're tired little Teddy Bears," Billie finished the song.

"That was great, she not crying at all now. Thanks Billie."

"You're welcome Van. See you tomorrow," and with that Billie hung up the phone smiling to herself. Then she heard someone clapping. Billie looked to the entranceway and saw Captain Parish grinning at her.

"Billie, I'm always amazed what you are willing to do for those two," he said referring to Van and Deaq.

Billie was blushing to the point of looking scarlet, "I can explain that ..."

**********

Van was enjoying the silence. He still had Maria on his lap and he gently lifted her off to set her on the ground. The second he set her down she stared fussing. He scooped her up and returned her to where she had just been sitting on his lap.

"So that's it. You didn't need the song you just wanted to be held, is that it? Why didn't you say so in the first place?" Van now felt very stupid for not figuring out earlier that Maria wanted to be held. "So you're a cuddler like you're uncle, huh?"

Van lifted Maria into his arms and held her close to his body as he got up and walked to the bedroom. He realized that holding was probably the only thing he had ever done with babies before. It struck him as ironic that the only thing he knew how to do with babies had been all she had wanted. If he had only had the sense to try that first ...

Van set Maria on the center of the huge bed. He had never realized how big it was before but seeing how small Maria looked sitting in the center he saw that it was indeed a large bed. Maria was beginning to look like she was going to cry again.

"No, no. Just hang on a sec."

Van went over to the shelf in the corner of the room. It had a couple of Deaq's things on it and Van's most prized possession. He lifted it from the shelf and returned quickly to the bed. Van sat against the headboard and picked Maria up and set her on his lap. He showed her the toy.

"This is my stuffed alpaca. His name is Al. My Dad bought him for me when I was little. Not as little as you, but I was a kid."

The stuffed animal was about a foot high, pure white, and covered in long, real alpaca hair. It had two little red pom poms on it's ears and a ribbon around it's head like a bridle. Van let her touch the soft hair. He took her hand and helped her pet it.

"I don't even remember bringing it here. I didn't realize that it wasn't at my place," Van said, thinking aloud. "When my Dad bought him for me we were on vacation, sort of. It was one of the last times we had together before he went back to jail. He's really special to me. Al, I mean, not my Dad. Not anymore."

Van could see that Maria was getting sleepy. He set the little animal on the night stand. "Maybe sometime I'll tell you the whole story. If I see you again that is."

Van stretched out on the bed and set Maria, who was now barely awake, on his chest.

"I guess you're tried from all that crying, huh? I know I would be."

He felt the baby squirm to get a little higher. His shirt was half unbuttoned and she was trying to get closer to his skin where it was warmer.

"What is it with you ladies, you're always getting me to take my shirt off," Van joked as he unbuttoned the shirt and took it off with a minimum of disruption to Maria. He tossed it on the other side of the bed.

Van took his first really good look at the baby. She had dark skin, but not as dark as Cherice. Van had never met Cherice's husband but figured he was probably white. He looked at Maria's long eye lashes and dark, sleepy eyes. She had full lips and a cute, tiny nose that pointed up at the end. Studying her features a little more closely Van decided that her father was probably not white but maybe latino or Puerto Rican. Whatever race he was he, along with the Hayes family genes, had created a very good looking baby.

"You're going to be a heartbreaker for sure," Van said softly. Maria would probably run into problems when she was a little older. It was a sad fact but even today a child with mixed blood might not be accepted by society as easily as one who was easily identifiable as being of a particular race or colour. Hopefully her good looks would help others look past her mixed heritage.

"You never let anyone put you down, you hear me?" he said to her softly. "Anyone gives you trouble you go tell your uncle Deaq or me."

Van tried to deny it but here he was getting attached to this little baby that just an hour ago he'd been desperate to get away from. ‘My Dad was right, I do get attached to people too easily,' thought Van.

Very softly, barely above a whisper, Van began to sing to Maria, "Maria, Maria. You remind me of a west side story. Growing up in Spanish harlem ..."

**********

When Deaq and Cherise arrived back at his place it was nearly 5 p.m. They had spent the better part of the day at court but were successful. Cherise still had her licence, thanks to Deaq's help with the judge. They walked in the front door and heard only silence. Deaq wasn't sure if that was a good sign or a bad one. They immediately noticed the mess that once had been a play pen. Deaq was now worried. He started to wonder if maybe he should have listened to Van and not left the inexperienced man alone with Maria.

Cherise saw Deaq looking at the mangled play pen and noticed the worried expression on his face. "Oh don't worry ‘bout that. Jay already broke two of them." Jay was Cherise's husband. "That man passed the bar with flying colours but you ask him to set up a play pen and he's clueless. Got the last two tangled up just like this one."

Deaq was somewhat relieved to hear that but made his way quickly to the bedroom. The house was open concept so he could visually sweep the living room and kitchen from the entrance way.
Deaq and Cherise walked quietly down the hallway. They stopped at the bedroom doorway, not wanting to wake the two occupants.

Van was laying on his back with Maria sleeping on his chest. She had the chubby little fingers of one hand twined in the bottom of Van's long hair. Surrounding Van was a bunch of pillows. The arrangement was well planned out. It would have been nearly impossible for Van to roll over and Maria would not be able to roll off him onto the bed. It was a little pillow fort to keep the baby safe.

Cherise thought they looked absolutely adorable. So did Deaq. They pushed the door mostly shut and made their way back to the kitchen.

"They looked so cute, didn't they?" Cherise asked her brother.

"Yeah, they did." He started to make coffee. "Cherise, I want to tell you a story from when I was in New York. I never told anybody before but I think maybe you need to hear it." Deaq proceeded to tell Cherise about the accident he had been called to when he had tried to save the dead baby. He was happy that Cherise hadn't lost her licence but was serious when he told judge Gallows that Cherise would never be caught speeding again. If telling her the story was what it took to make sure that promise was kept then he was willing to do it. He felt like a real jerk telling her a story that made her cry but he wanted to be sure that she understood just how important this was. Deaq stopped short of telling her that every time he held Maria he still remembered that dead baby in his arms. Some things were just too disturbing to share.

Deciding to change the subject Deaq grabbed the little box from his pocket and put it on the table. "I got this for Van."

Cherise knew that Deaq had stopped in a hardware store on the way back to his place. She had been following him in her car and he had told her to wait there, he wouldn't be long. He had returned about ten minutes later and she didn't know what he had bought there.

She picked up the box. It said "1 inch finishing nails." Cherise didn't know what the significance was, if any.

"Open it up and see."

She opened the small box and a key slid out. It was shiny gold and had something engraved on it. She looked a the key and returned it to the box.

"So, he's the one. You decided.”

"Yeah, I want him to be with me, always. Cher, I can't explain it. I know we never talked about it but before him it was always women. Even in New York. But when I met Van, worked with him, well I just knew," Deaq said. He was pouring out his feelings and he hoped that Cherise could accept Van as a part of the family.

"I know what you thinking. You think just ‘cause he's a man we all won't accept him, right? I always knew what you were thinkin' when we were kids and I still know now. Deaky, if you want him and trust him then of course I accept him. He's family as of right now," she said lightly thumping her palm on the table top for emphasis.

Deaq was very relieved. If Cherise was cool with Van being Deaq's lover and partner then maybe the rest of the family would be too.

"The rest of them," Cherise began, as if reading Deaq's mind. "They might need a little time getting used to it. But Deaky, they're a lot more open minded than you think. They won't even care that he's white. They didn't give Jay any trouble. Daddy said as long as they got a job and are good people then the rest doesn't matter to him. You'd know they're like that if you came around-"

"More often," Deaq said finishing the sentence. "Yeah I know."

"Speaking of that I want you and Van over on Sunday. My damn cars been acting up and I want Van to have a look at it."

Deaq just looked at his sister surprised. She continued, "What? You said he was good with cars. Jay's useless around them and the mechanic keeps ripping us off. I'll make us all a nice, big family dinner. What do you say?"

"You said Van was part of the family less than one minute ago and already you expect him to be helping out. You got some nerve girl!"

"Consider it proof of how much I accept him. You want him to be part of the family then he's gonna earn his keep," Cherise fired back, joking. "You two will come then?"

"I got to ask Van but yeah, I'm sure he'll say yes."

"Good, now I best get going, Jays' probably gettin' home right about now and he'll be wondering where we are."

************

Deaq waved good-bye to his sister as she slowly pulled out of his driveway. They had managed to pry Maria off Van without waking either of them, a small miracle. Deaq had helped load the sleeping baby into the car seat. Making sure Deaq wouldn't forget to ask Van about Sunday dinner, she had hugged her brother good night and left for home. Cherise decided she had finally figured out who would make the best godparents for Maria.

Deaq went back inside. He found Van dead to the world, still surrounded and half buried by pillows. Deaq started moving away all the pillows carefully so as not to startle Van. Deaq hated to be jolted awake so he tried never to do it to anyone else. Finally, having moved all the pillows, he was surprised that Van was still asleep. ‘He must be really tired,' he thought. ‘Maybe I better just let him sleep for a while.'

Deaq climbed into bed and pulled Van against him. Van mumbled something in his sleep then rolled over so he was laying half on top of Deaq, his head resting on Deaq's chest. Deaq didn't feel tired but was very comfortable. There were few things he liked as much as feeling Van curled up around him and most of the other things required Van awake. Deaq let his mind wander as he watched his lover sleep.

**************

‘Mmmm. Warm and cozy. Mmmmm Deaq. Hey, wait a second...'

Deaq felt Van jerk awake. He saw Van looking around with confused and slightly panicked eyes.

"Where's Maria?"

"It's okay. Cherise took her home ‘bout an hour ago," Deaq explained to Van.

"Oh."

"You sound disappointed."

"Yeah, well I didn't get to say good-bye."

"That's okay, Cherise will understand."

"No, I meant to Maria. I didn't get to say good-bye to Maria."

"I take it you made out okay today? You had a good time with her?"

Van didn't know how to answer that. ‘Did the day go alright? No, the bulk of it I spent messing things up. First, I practically accused you of cheating and then I couldn't figure how to make your niece stop crying. Oh, and I also managed to accidentally give her her first glimpse of gay porn, scared her half deaf with loud music and then destroyed her play pen. So. did the day go okay? No, it really didn't. Did I have a good time with her? For most of the day no, but... Yeah, we understand each other now. She is awfully sweet when she isn't screaming her lungs out-'

"Van?" Deaq interrupted Van's thoughts. "Those weren't really tough questions. Were you planning on answering me or did you just want to leave me hanging?"

"Oh, uh sorry."

"Come on I'll make you some coffee. Gotta get your brain workin' properly again."

"Coffee would be great."

***********

Deaq was already pouring the coffee by the time Van joined him in the kitchen. He noticed Van had put on one of his sweaters, it was just a little too big for him. Deaq liked seeing Van wear his clothes. Maybe it was a possessive thing, Deaq wasn't really sure. He just knew he liked it.

"Here you go darlin,' Deaq said, teasing Van as he handed him a mug of coffee.

Van smiled at him but really it was probably closer to a sneer. "Is there anyway you could use a slightly less feminine pet name for me right now. This day has been ... well it hasn't exactly left me feeling all that manly, you know?"

"Sorry. Here's you coffee then STUD," Deaq said repressing the laughter that was threatening to come out. "You having some role issues or what?"

"No, it's just with freaking out like an idiot this morning and then taking care of Maria... Oh, jeez, I don't know. Never mind."

"Well I got just the thing to reassure you of your manhood," teasing Van with a seductive voice.

"Oh, really?" Van thought maybe Deaq had a little kitchen table sex in mind. ‘This time I'll remember to take all the utensils off the table first. Getting a fork stuck in my back is NOT something I want to experience again.'

Switching back to a normal tone Deaq said, "Cherise wants us to come over on Sunday. She said her cars actin' up and she wants you to have a look at it."

Van was baffled. ‘Damn cock tease!' he thought. "She wants what?"

"Sunday dinner. She wants you to look at her car," Deaq didn't mind repeating himself since he knew it was his fault Van had been too distracted to pay attention the first time.

"Why would she want me to look at her car?"

"Cause I told her you were good with fixing them. She must really trust you ‘cause she asked AFTER she saw what you did to that play pen."

"Oh damn. I'll have to get her another one. I don't know how I screwed that thing up so badly."

"S'okay she wasn't mad and like I said she wants you to look at the car so she must figure it's not indicative of your normal abilities with stuff."

‘That's my Deaq: the only guy I know who can say the words "indicative" and "stuff" in the same sentence and still sound totally natural.' Van adored Deaq's speech which often betrayed both the gang culture where he spent much his youth and the fact that he hadn't neglected school either.

"Yeah Sunday's fine. I can swing by before you guy's have dinner," Van didn't mind helping Cherise out and he also wanted to see Maria again.

"No, Van. It's FAMILY dinner: as in family comes to it." Deaq saw Van just stare at him blankly. "If you don't stay it's insulting to Cherise."

"Oh! You mean... Wow. So she's cool with it. With us."

"Like I said she trusts you Van. She's a good judge of character," Deaq realized that this would be a good time to give Van his gift. "Hey, I got you something today."

"From the courthouse?"

"No, from the hardware store," Deaq said as he lightly tossed the small box to Van.

Van caught it and looked at it. "Finishing nails. Nothing says romantic quite like these," Van said sarcastically. ‘What in the hell is he thinking?'

"Open it."

Van opened the box and out slid the shiny, gold key. As Van inspected the key Deaq spoke to him.

"It's a key to the house. I know you already got one but this one's different." Deaq waited for Van to say something.

Van read the inscription on the key. It had been engraved by hand, the letters were pretty wobbly. It said, "I luv you" on one side.

"Turn it over," Deaq told him.

The other side had an engraved message on it too. It said, "I TRUST you."

"I trust you with my life everyday, Van," Deaq said. "And I trust you with my heart," he said more softly. "I was thinking maybe you could use a reminder." Deaq paused, then continued, "I want you to move in with me."

Van just kept staring at the key in his hand. Deaq watched him: head bowed, intent on the item in his hand. ‘I think I've rendered him speechless. Amazing,' thought Deaq.

"I know you trust me Deaq. You showed me that already today."

"I knew you'd take good care of Maria."

"I'm glad one of us did then," Van said quietly, almost to himself. "I do like to be reminded of it. This means a lot to me Deaq." Van finally looked up, meeting Deaq's gaze. "I want to live here, with you, if you'll have me."

Deaq started to feel just a little uncomfortable with how emotional this was becoming. "Good. Then pop that on your key ring and tell me what you want for dinner."

Van let out a long breath to steady himself. He nervously ran a hand through his long hair. Maybe Deaq could switch moods that quickly but Van needed a little time to adjust. "I don't know. Whatever you want. What have we got?"

Deaq was relieved that Van was following his lead. It gave him a break from the more difficult, deeper issues. He needed a more concrete problem to concentrate on. Fixing dinner he could handle right now. "Not a whole lot of choice. I guess we're gonna have to go grocery shopping tomorrow. Don't think you're getting out of it. If you live here you're shopping with me."

Van loved the idea of grocery shopping with Deaq. When he shopped for himself it was usually at the 7-11. There just never seemed much point in cooking for one person. But there was something very appealing to him about grocery shopping with Deaq, it had a domestic quality to it. ‘Only you would romanticize a trip to the supermarket. This is probably because Mom taught you to order pizza by phone when you were 7 rather than take you shopping.'

"That sounds nice," Van said.

"Nice?!? Now I know you must be hungry. Getting delirious on me, aren't you? Supermarket is the biggest pain in the ass,"Deaq said as he opened the fridge looking for something to whip up quickly. Finding nothing of much use he opened the freezer in search of something to make.

"Uh, Van, what's your gun doing in the freezer?"

End

Continued in the Expectations series.

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